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Bugs in a Petri Dish, Two Towers Over, by Ray Zwarich

To all the Really Good Ones, and to every ship in peril on the sea:

Copied below is a Public Challenge ole Caliban has issued to young American PCCC Gestapo Kommandante, Dr. Stephanie Taylor. 

This note is addressed through her mentor, Dr. Joesph McCartin, of Georgetown, renowned for his 'Kalmanovitz Initiative for Labor and the Working Poor', which he plies so passionately amongst the ivy covered posh ivory towers of that hotbed of American Labor. ('Scuse while I extract me tongue from cheek.). PCCC Kommandante Frau Taylor is far too important, of course, to maintain communications with us dirty smelly working people. I could find no way to contact her.

Dr. McCartin was her doctoral adviser. I'll just contact her through him, through the Georgetown Faculty directory. Oh wait ... he's far too important as well. I did find an address for someone named Tremblay, (irony anyone?), who apparently receives email on behalf of the Kalmanovitz Initiative.

So I sent this to him, and asked him to forward it to Dr. Joe McCartin, to forward to Dr. Taylor.

I also printed it out, stuck it to a pigeon's foot, whispered in her ear, and set her loose on the chill winter wind. She'll get it wherever it needs to go.


Professor McCartin:

I am writing you as part of a preliminary investigation of a person named Stephanie Taylor. It's my understanding that you were Dr. Taylor's faculty adviser when she wrote her dissertation. 

My name is Zwarich. I have taken to affecting the 'pen name', Caliban, though it's more an introductory identity thing, (as a scholar you no doubt recognize the source), never an attempt to hide my identity. 

My interest in Dr. Taylor is that of a concerned citizen, and as a patriotic American working person, in connection to her work, in league with people like Adam Green, with the Progressive Change Campaign Committee. Millions of people (maybe tens of millions, or more), have been getting emails from PCCC, Dr. Taylor and Mr. Green's organization, that sound like they could be coming from a Gestapo precursor.

Is that Dr. Taylor's intention? Is she trying to have half the adult citizens of our nation, over 100 million Americans, fear her Iron Fist and hob-nailed Iron Heel? 

84 MILLION people, (does she know how many of the largest football stadiums that would fill to overflowing?), SAW the DemoPartyMachine, in cahoots with the Mass Media Barons that now run our elections, execute a brilliant Mass Media Coup, to brazenly seize power.

One wonders if the good lass, young Stehpie, ever even read ole Jack Barleycorn's accounts of the working people's lives Dr. Taylor 'studies', like she'd study bugs in a lab petri dish. Does she think her DPM PCCC thugs just need to strike fear in working people's hearts, and then everything will be wonderful for working folks? (Has the lass even read GeorgieBoy Orwell? You were her 'adviser', Dr. McCartin ... Correct? Did you supervise her reading about us working folks? Or were we always just bugs in the petri dish to her?

Mr. Adam Green, (did his family choose that name to hide their identity?), and Dr. Taylor are organizing actual 'fascism', using the most accepted formal definition of that word, which is oft cited as a full co-joining of corporate and government power. The Orwellian-named PCCC is organizing 'progressives' to prevail upon the full power of The American Imperial Corporate Establishment to be brought to bear to purge people from government for daring to cast a legal vote, as the US Constitution requires them to do, representing their constituents, against the suddenly powerful DemoPartyMachine (DPM). 

PCCC wants anyone who dares to oppose the suddenly all-powerful Democratic Party Machine to be 'purged'. It's already been reported that a purge is in progress. Government employees, including people like teachers, police, etc, have reportedly already been fired. They've had their incomes, their children's food, the roof over their heads, crushed to rubble under the hob-nailed Iron Heel of the PCCC. 

A Reign of Fear is already exerting itself, and the Gestapo PCCC is clearly a leading proponent. Many millions of the nation's working people, an estimated 84 MILLION, now feel that they must look over their shoulders first, to be careful about who might be listening, before they dare express any political opinions, in America. 

How long before PCCC starts compiling a 'rat out your co-worker' campaign? Once Kommandante Frau Taylor has the corporations fully regimented in line with the DPM (DemoPartyMachine), people will fear for their livelihoods in every company in the nation, if they dare disagree with Herr Green and Frau Taylor at the PCCC.

Isn't that these evil people's plan? 

How did such a nice girl like Stephie grow up to be a horrid social monster like this PCCC Kommandante Frau Taylor? 

You know, Dr. McCartin, yer just a young lad yerself. Born in '59, were ya? I remember 1959 well, me buddy Bill Neal and I, arm in arm in Ms. Shankland's class, at Porter School, in Prairie Village, Kansas, holding up our fists in a gesture of triumph, as we read aloud the headlines on the KC Star that Ms. Shankland had pinned up on the board, in our best booming voices. "Alaska. The 49th Star". Ms. Shankland broke out laughing. "You look like two young conquerors", she said. LOL ...

Si ... Recuerdo bien. 1959. 

You shoulda' been there in '56, Dr. McCartin, when Larson threw his perfect game in the Series.'56 was the year 'Sixteen Tons', by ole Tennessee Ernie Ford, was on the 'Hit Parade', (an actual national program). Yea, I remember snapping fingers on the playground to the beat, knees flexed, cool, like the Sharks and Jets in West Side Story, (which didn't come out 'til '62), "Ya see me comin' better step aside. If one don't getcha', the other one will"  Hmm.... "I owe my soul to the company store". I wonder if Karl Marx wrote that song. Ya think? Well ... Anyway ... That tune sure stirred many a young lad's hearts. 

Did you ever take a good look at, really "ponder", (as ole Edgar liked t' say), an Estwing hammer? I swung one 'a them babies all day, every dang day, fer 'bout 35 years. It's a solid hunk of VERY hard tempered steel, with one end molded in some kind of rubbery compound that is bonded to the steel like it grew from it. 

I taught a lot of young fellas t' swing that small steel club. A couple-few young women too. (I know modern girls love their Wonder Woman delusions, but very few female humans could do the work we did, and that rugged leather-tough men still do, to feed our babies, and keep the cold rain off their heads.

I always had a kind of 'zen' about it. I told the young lads they should understand that when the tool in their own hand at this moment, is dug out of the ground in 10,000 years, whoever lifts it can turn around, right where she or he is standing, and start using this self same hunka' hard steel to build a house. (They'll need some kind of saw, too, of course. And some wood. Etc.).   

Yea ... A carpenter and his hammer ... Can kinda get t' be like a samurai and his katana, (sword) .. Ya know? It's definitely a 'relationship'? Ya know? You probly feel like that about your keyboard, and your lectern, dontcha'? You ever teach people about the simple elemental beauty of an Estwing hammer? 

It's always kinda' 'funny' when addressing ivory tower folks that study 'Labor'. You don't look like you every got a callous on yer tender soft hands, Dr. McCartin. Let me know if I'm wrong. You got a blister within two minutes when you went out to rake the leaves in late October, didn't you? 

Dr. Taylor, and people like Dr. Stephanie Luce, and people like you, Dr. McCartin, never actually rolled that rock up that hill, didja', lad? You just study us folks that do, and those that have. Dontcha'? 

We're kinda' like the bugs in the petrie dish that your colleagues, Two Towers over, are studying. Aren't we, Dr. McCartin? (To the HomeSec boys and girls reading along, that last is a reference to Tolkien, not 9/11. I was born in Independence, a town in Missouri. Reared mostly in Kansas, in a town that likes to call itself "The Heart of America". I ain't no 'terrorist'. I am deeply committed to non-violence, not primarily from a spiritual angle, but rather because it is so MUCH more devastatingly effective).  

Yea .. "A mind that's weak, and a back that's strong". I had some schoolin'. Went to UCLA. Class of '70. It was a confusing time for a young lad from Kansas. I been a Leftist since shortly after the Tet Offensive.

The man that taught me the most at UCLA was an old Gaul name 'a Jean Genet, and it only took him about ten minutes. "In 1970, the Black Panthers invited him to the United States, where he stayed for three months giving lectures, attended the trial of their leader, Huey Newton, and published articles in their journals. Later the same year he spent six months in Palestinian refugee camps, secretly meeting Yasser Arafat near Amman". (From his Wikipedia entry). 

It was a brilliant sunny California winter morning. Those were magic. 50 degree chill overnight, but when that semi-tropical sun rose over the San Bernadinos, (on a clear day you could still see Mt. Baldy in those days), it felt like God's kindest golden gift ever to we poor creatures. By late morning, it was warm enough in mid-winter to lay in the sun and bake yer dumb irradiated self golden brown. 

The grass is green and succulent in winter, every leaf of it heavy and soft with the winter rains. Its steamy aroma in the warm winter sun is intoxicating. The smell of the rich moist soil below. It was the lawn by the Men's Gym, (that we tore the doors off that other day). Genet spoke from the steps leading up to the Royce Hall quad.

My 'campus radical' friends were arrogant and self-righteous. I confess, though I marched beside them, and sat in meetings, etc, with a few key exceptions, I never really much liked those people's 'attitudes'. Ya know what I mean? Arrogant and self-righteous, for whatever reason, never felt quite right to me.

Anyways ... Me campus radical friends expected to hear this old Celtic Gaul (Genet..hmm..from gen..generate.. genius? A source? A fount? A Druid?), praise them for their 'heroic' radical activism. Well ... He didn't ... "You are silly privileged children", he spat out, "living in a goldfish bowl, being fed every day, and amusing your keepers with your antics. Quitcher' bullshit talk (this is translated, he spoke in French), about 'revolution'. You wanna revolution? Get out of your silly-ass frackin' goldfish bowl, Join the working class. Experience REAL LIFE!" (Yea.. Well... An old workin ' stiff beastly translation).

Well ... Yea ... I was a SERIOUS young man. It was a very confusing time. I was 1A, and on my way. (I din't go). I soon quit school and got a Job with Fox Construction down in Santa Monica. I lived down there at the beach. Worked on an asphalt crew. Got a hunk of hot oil down my boot first day on the job. In fact I think it mighta' been the first 10 minutes. It not only burned through clean to the bone, it was stuck inside my frackin' boot, as it was burning clean to the bone. Well ... LOL .. I got the boot off, real fast. LOL .. The other guys snickered at the new offay fool. I shook out the rest of the hot asphalt, put the boot back on, " and I picked up my shovel and I walked to the mine". Yea ... True story. I walked back over and started shoveling that hot oil with that short handle square point. Yea ... And them other boys learned that the 'college boy' was a fella who'd make a much better friend than an enemy. (The third degree burn luckily didn't get infected, though it hurt like hell when I scrubbed it, sitting on the side of the tub, after working the rest of that day. It healed up OK. That's the thing about a 'booba' like that for us dumb work beasts. It doesn't just hurt when ya do it, it hurts every minute and second of the day, 'till it's healed up and calloused over). 

I know you folks is real smart up there in yer ivory towers and all, but us REAL working folks, we knows a couple things you folks don't seem to. That old French fella really knew what the frack he was talkin' 'bout. 

Ya know? 

Anyways ... I'm just an old broke down has-been carpenter, shoveling chicken shit now, out here in the boondocks of rural Massachusetts. My wife of 47 years and I run a small farmstead. (400 hundred laying hens eat over a ton of grain a month. 40 50 lb bags. Ya load it up, haul it, load it into storage, 50 lbs at a time, then into the feeders, then once it's 'processed', ya gotta shovel that shit outta there. It especially builds up in winter, since they spend more time in the barns. 

I still own my first Estwing. I built those barns with it. I've worn out dozens of tool belts. The sweat rots out the cowhide leather pouches. The leather rots clean through at your waist, til they finally fall off the belt.

I'm still learning at Mr. Genet's knee. There's a lesson in every shovelful. There's one in every nail. I'm still  hopin' t' earn my 'degree' someday soon. Every day I find some rock to roll up some damn fool hill. It's just a lifetime of dogged habit. Wanting to set aside belief. Wanting to 'know'.

Ahh ... But forgive me ... Sorry t' be borin' ya with all that..... 

That Stephanie Taylor sure likes to brag on herself, doesn't she?  That girl really thinks she's 'all that', eh?? I wonder if she was impressed when Wonder Woman swung her great big sword? (Geez, where's a boy like Sigmund when ya need him?) That type sword weighs about as much as two or three baseball bats. (She should have gone more with a 'Sting' style blade, like that fierce girl Arya Stark did). As a man who used to swing a piece of steel, let me clue Dr. Taylor in: the woman who can swing that sword is NOT going to have Wonder Woman's skinny sexy arms and legs, with a skinny sexy waste, and ample female charms spilling out of a cute sexy little outfit. (LOL ... Could 'liberated females' possibly adopt a more ridiculously self-mocking cultural icon? I don't see how. Geez ... These girls are REALLY 'all mixed up'). 

When one listens to the proud Dr. Taylor boast about all the awards she's won for being such a heroic FEMALE champion of the working class, one is certainly impressed. With so much success. Dr. 'Wonder Woman' Taylor has no doubt "patched up the crack in the Liberty Bell" by now. Eh? (Like ole Davy Crockett?).

With a girl like this on our side, workin' folks must surely be on a long win streak, eh? What's that ya say? The whole dang time this arrogantly proud Princess Labor Heroine girl was being such a heroine for working people, that their lives just steadily have gotten WORSE. Not just WORSE. But MUCH WORSE, the whole time that Stephie girl was 'helping' them. 

What the frack is yer girl bragging about, Dr. McCartin? If it was me, I'd be apologizing for doing so much stupid stuff for so long that things for working folks have just gotten WAYY worse.

Where does this silly prissy girl get off acting like Kommandante Frau Taylor, of the Reichstag Gestapo PCCC? C'mon. The poor girl is so desperate for some 'street cred', Dr. McCartin, that she still brags about the 5 minutes she spent, all dewey fresh out of college, as "a labor organiser in Appalachia". Wow! Not just ANY labor organizer. But among them stupid hicks in Appalachia that she now wants to have fear the Terror of the PCCC Iron Heel? 

Where does her funding come from? That will be the focus of our investigation of Dr. Taylor, and her accomplice, Mr. Adam Green.

I would like to establish direct communications with Dr. Taylor. I'm a father of daughters, Dr. McCartin. My oldest daughter is about her age. That daughter did her undergrad at Stanford. PhD at NYU. My middle daughter is a fellow (to her) UVa Alumnus. In fact they might have both been there at close to the same time. I think my girl was maybe just a couple years ahead. That daughter also earned a masters from Harvard. (My youngest baby girl is 35, and is the best school teacher in the city of Boston, where she did her BA and earned a masters in Education at Northeastern). 

Do you think you could forward this to Dr. Taylor for me? I'll sure bet she's a headstrong girl, ain't she? LOL .. Lemme tell 'bout that oldest of mine... LOL ... She and I are kinda 'bumpin' heads' right now ... Yea .. Well ..We're ALL a wee bit 'on edge'. Aren't we? 

We all gotta calm down and start talking to one another, Dr. McCartin. I'll bet Stephie is a perfectly nice girl, with lots of really excellent ideas, and lots to say. She probably isn't really the shrieking, screeching enemy-of-democracy Gestapo Kommandante Frau that she sounds like in these PCCC emails, is she? 

Not even 25 pages into her dissertation, and her stark but carefully coded bigotry is already oozing thick on most every page. (As is that from your own cleverly coded 'Kalmanovitz Initiative for Labor and the Working Poor'.  You were her adviser? 'Dr.' McCartin? Doctor of Philosophy, are ye? A real life Doctor of Knowledge? Doesn't Knowledge require Scientific Objectivity, and doesn't that require, well..objectivity? Hmm...

Kalmanovitz... Hmm ... Caliban has heard that name somewhere. "Kalmanovitz specialized in leveraged buy-outs,[8] which take over businesses to sell off their parts for profit, closing plants and laying off employees. After a takeover in St. Louis, brewery employees flew the American flag at half-staff and upside down.[4]" (From the wikipedia entry for Jewish brewing magnate Paul Kalmanovitz).

Is THAT the mega-Baron Jewish person that has so generously funded your experiments on, (er ... yer 'study' of), us creatures in yer petri dishes, 'Dr.' McCartin? 

Well ... If I had to winnow down the flaw in young Princess Stehpie's thinking, which becomes the glaring siren contradiction in her scholar's analysis, and in her doctoral thesis, it would be that in her heroic 'championing' of "immigrants and people of color", she is using her self-styled 'kommandante heroism' to demonize and dehumanize those VERY self-same people's children and grandchildren. 

Well, surely the girl can muster up enough self-awareness to 'see' that the grandchildren of the very self-same people she so absurdly postures herself as 'championing', she now considers as 'The Deplorables', which in some kind of crazed Gestapo-esque hysteria she now wants 'purged' from representation in government.  

The poor girl is clearly overwrought, in the throes of Trump Derangement Syndrome. Lotta folks are hoping people like her can 'get ahold of themselves', calm their Mass Mob Hysteria, and stop acting so dingbat crazed, pretty soon. (The sooner the better).

Okey doke then. I hereby challenge Dr Stephanie Taylor to a formal public debate at High Noon in the Public Square. Maybe you could facilitate, good Professor McCartin? 

I'm sending this note to a few people with whom I communicate, so this is an open, formal, Public Challenge 

Did you ever skip rocks when you were a kid, Dr. McCartin? You look like a stout lad. McCartan is a very old clan. Did ya know that? See the lion on the clan crest, brandishing every fang and claw in threat, roaring in courage and defiance? The two right palms ... Interesting ... I wonder what that symbolized? The crescent? Bowl upward? All those symbols had DEEP spiritual meaning to them that designed that crest.

Yea ... Them Celtic folk. Them Druids. Tolkien was fascinated. The deepest Spirit of Clan Mac Artain is embedded in the symbolism in that crest. Caesar was also fascinated by those wild fierce folks 'in the North', and I'm sure his accounts were an important source for Tolkien as he conjured up Middle Earth.  

Hadrian's boys chased 'em up into the mountains around Snowden in the Cymru Highlands, and into their Highland refuges in the North. Hadrian looked North across that rising moor through hard narrow eyes. He decided it'd be best to just leave them wild fierce people be. He decided he didn't even wanna mess with them fierce and deeply passionate people. "Leave them crazy-ass muhfuggers just BE!", Hadrian told his men. Then he barked at his engineers, "I want a frackin' wall across this entire island. Hear? From the Atlantic to the North Sea. We'll keep those crazy-ass folks up there. And we'll just stay down here". (Sound like anyone you know who likes t' build walls? LOL..)

Yea ... Well ... You know the story. The Goths sacked Rome. Arthur (Mac Artain, hmm) and Merlin, and the Sword in the Stone. The knights of the Round Table. Passion, betrayal, and jealousy. Lancelot and Galahad, and faithless Guinevere.  The heroism. Then the days of Long Shanks and William Wallace. And down to 'the troubles' whose specter still haunts the western-most Celts.

Robert Owen was me grandfather's name, on me mother's side. Yea The music stirs me soul  'bout as deep as a man's soul can be stirred.  

Too thin a stone would not skip well. It will always 'yaw' one way or the other. Naw ... You wanted a good heavy stone, with about the same circumference as a baseball, and at least a half to three quarters thick in the middle, (inch to inch and a half is better). It needs the mass to provide the gyroscopic inertia to overcome the wind-resistance against the flat skipping surface. It's 'the spin', the gyroscopic inertia, that can skip a good skippin' rock clean across most any smooth pond. A well-skipped rock will just settle calmly in the water at the end of its run, like a speedboat does when you cut the throttle.

Yea ... I send my rocks, spun well as I can spin 'em, out onto many ponds, good Dr. McCartin, all over the nation, and all over the world, to skip wherever they do. I'm told they skip purty darn good, wherever the waters are smooth enough for reason to prevail.

Please forward this to Dr. Taylor for me. Taylor is an English name. No? I have some English as well. Robert Owen married a Streeter, who birthed my Mama.

Public Square. High Noon. She can bring help if she wants. Much as she thinks she needs. I could call on some if I needed to, but I wouldn't bother. (I hate to bother folks).

You remember Eddie Murphy in '48 Hours'? "Lack of pussy makes you BRAVE, man!". LOL ...

But ain't that how it is? When one stands on the moral high ground, it lends one GREAT magnitudes of confidence. "Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid". Who said that? 

Do I sound like a man who stands alone?

"I have the eagle" is certainly a 'proud' title for her dissertation. You could tell Dr. Taylor that I am personally acquainted with a mated pair of bald eagles who are nested somewheres in the woods over North Pond way. I have a 'spot' over by South Pond. They've actually flown down close to say hello. Low as maybe 50-100 feet overhead, coming down in slow lazy circles, after watching from on high. Close enough I can see their focus intently on me, as they turn their heads to look with one eye, and then the other way to look with the other. Haven't seen 'em fer a good while. Been too busy writing to relax, drink a beer, and watch them two eagles soar, and then amble down low to say hello. 

Anyways ...

Public Square. High Noon. Ask Dr. Taylor to please let me know. 


R Zwarich
Bent Birch Farm (The Old Webber Place)
63 Webber Rd
Brookfield, MA 01506
774 449-8030