*(2) This cartoon is Netanyahu's retailiation against Leftists trying to oust him over Bribery allegations**(3) A "shonda for the goyim": a shameful act seen by non-Jews**(4) Liberal Jews break with Israel over Soros 'Illuminati' cartoon - The Forward**(5) Now Israel has its own version of the ‘alt-right’**(6) Tufts University activists publish guide calling Israel a ‘white supremacist state’**(7) Breitbart speaker at UC on “Campus Thuggery”; security barriers and tickets to keep Antifa out**(8) Goy Round-Up - The Forward****(1) The Soros 'Illuminati' cartoon as published by JTA (Jewish Telegraph Agency)*JTA Soros cartoon: http://www.jta.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Yair-Soros-640x400.jpg*(2) This cartoon is Netanyahu's retailiation against Leftists trying to oust him over Bribery allegations *- Peter Myers, September 12, 2017Netanyahu manages to win election after election, but opponents have him on the ropes over a bribery investigation. He may have taken bribes from his Billionaire friends.Such bribery is taken for granted in the USA, and the donors are often Jewish; but Israelis don't put up with it.Israelis prosecute their leaders and ex-leaders much as Americans impeach their Presidents.Netanyahu has been trying to stop foreign-funded NGOs from helping the Palestinian cause; he's sensed George Soros's presence behind many of them. And now, he's guessing that Soros also has a hand in the legal moves being made against him and his family - eg, his wife is about to be prosecuted.These legal avenues may bring Netanyahu's career to an end. That's why his son published this cartoon.Of course, Soros is also behind Same-Sex Marriage, Open Door Immigration, Black Lives Matter, Antifa, and other causes dear to Trots and Anarchists.*(3) A "shonda for the goyim": a shameful act seen by non-Jews***http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=*Shonda*Yiddish word meaning "a fool" or "a shame".A *"shonda for the goyim"* means to do something *shameful, publicly witnessed by non-Jews*, thus *bringing shame upon Jews* in general (because, the theory goes, we are all held accountable for the worst deeds of the worst of us.)"Eric Cantor is a shonda".*(4) Liberal Jews break with Israel over Soros 'Illuminati' cartoon - The Forward*http://forward.com/opinion/382327/why-yair-netanyahus-anti-semitic-hatred-is-so-bad-for-the-jews/Why *Yair Netanyahu’s Anti-Semitic Hatred Is So Bad For The Jews*Chemi Shalev (Haaretz)September 11, 2017Yair Netanyahu’s astonishingly anti-Semitic cartoon was, as some American Jews might say, *a shonda for the goyim.*Whatever rationalizations are concocted to justify the fact that the son of the Prime Minister of Israeli disseminated anti-Jewish imagery, the embarrassment was undeniable. Anti-Semites like David Duke may be kvelling, but those who care for Israel turned their heads away in shame. The ongoing self-degradation and auto-humiliation of the Jewish state has become too painful for them to watch.This is a new element in the historic relationship between Israel and the largest Jewish Diaspora: Contempt is now mutual. It flows both ways. Israelis have traditionally viewed American Jews as spoiled naïfs but *American Jews worshipped Israel, first as Jewish miracle, then as military wonder and then* as resilient *Start-up Nation*. It is only now, under the shadows of Donald Trump and under the influence of Netanyahu’s shock decision to renege on the Kotel deal, that mainstream American Jews have stopped denying what they’ve been sensing for the past few years:That *Israel has gone off the rails*; that it no longer reflects values that American Jews can identify with; that most of its *leaders and lawmakers are uncouth and often ignorant oafs*; that it sometimes seems to be run by *fundamentalist fanatics *who are just *as zealous than those in Riyadh and Tehran*; and that it is increasingly difficult to distinguish between Israel and other anti-liberal right-wing governments and movements, from the alt-right to Eastern Europe, where the younger Netanyahu’s cartoon featuring George Soros, lizard beings, freemasons and Jews mesmerized by money could surely win first prize in a contest of anti-Semitic cartoons.Contempt is what many American Jews felt when *it took Netanyahu more than 48-hours to react to the neo-Nazi violence in Charlottesville*. Not everyone noticed Netanyahu’s reticence, of course, but those who did were first incensed and then resigned. The Israeli government’s flaccid response to anti-Semitism that emanates from its right-wing friends contrasts almost ridiculously with its ferocious reaction to Jew-hatred that comes from Muslims or the left.An American Jewish community reeling from the *nativist and white supremacist forces unleashed by Trump*’s election and presidency would have appreciated firmer support from the so-called leader of the Jewish people, but they’ve learned to no longer expect it. They know whom they’re dealing with.The disdain for Netanyahu and his policies, once suppressed, emerges not only in conversations with *anti-occupation American liberals* but with moderates and some right-wingers as well. Many of these people may have felt uncomfortable with Israel in the past, but their criticism was specific and local and mostly kept to themselves. Now, their disdain is vocal and general. For someone who has been listening to American Jews for over four decades, the change is palpable. *Contempt, once understated, is now clear and unequivocal*.The most recent catalyzer was undoubtedly *Netanyahu’s decision to succumb to the ultra-Orthodox demand to cancel the Kotel deal,* which took years to achieve and involved painful compromise on the American side as well. Although American Jewish leaders are well acquainted with Israel’s political system and with the Haredi parties’ immense powers of extortion, they did not anticipate Netanyahu’s swift and utter surrender. Bibi holds us in such low regard, one American Jewish leader told me this week, he didn’t even bother pretending that he was fighting for the deal he had brokered himself.The decision to unilaterally revoke the Kotel deal was a tipping point. A dam of pent up frustration broke. The fact that Israel allows political leaders and official rabbis to defame and besmirch non-Orthodox American Jews in primitive and abhorrent terms – the latest was the *Sephardi Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem*, Shlomo Amar, who *described Reform Jews as worse than Holocaust deniers* - without anyone taking them to task is no longer considered an aberration.The all-out *attacks against the Supreme Court* and the rule of law, the campaign to delegitimize the media, the laws restricting entry to Israel based on political opinions, the increasingly foul tone of Israel’s political discourse and its crazy infatuation with Donald Trump are all part of a depressing pattern that many American Jews are recognizing publicly for the first time.Not all American Jews detest Trump, of course. Some, especially among the ultra-Orthodox, would willingly vote for him again. But for many American Jews, Trump is the stuff of which their worst nightmares are made. Not only is he dangerous, he is an embarrassment. His behavior, morals and decency are deplorable, but he is the President with which Israel and its elected leaders identify and support. Not Barack Obama, who they denigrated no end, but Donald Trump, who they greeted as the messiah. The fact that Trump is more popular in Israel than in any other country in the world is another, major-league shonda for the goyim as far as American Jews are concerned.***And all this, without a word about the occupation, land confiscations, price tag operation*s and the increasingly clear signals sent by Netanyahu that he has no intention of even trying to reach a *peace deal* with the Palestinians. American Jews may realize that some if not most of the troubling phenomena that they object to in Israel stem from the occupation and they are bewildered by Israel’s passivity in peacemaking, but the occupation does not seem to be foremost on their minds, as it isn’t on the minds of most Israelis. The problem isn’t with the occupation, stupid, it’s with Israel itself.American Jews have traditionally deferred to Israelis. They are tough and battle-hardened, they told themselves, and they know better than us what can and should be done. They are the ones facing existential dangers, not us. That’s not going to change. Most American Jews, perhaps less than before but a sizeable majority nonetheless, will rally to Israel’s defense whenever it seems threatened. But the days of American Jews feeling inferior are over. For the first time, many of then believe their pluralistic and humanistic values are, in fact, superior. They will no longer defer to Israel on matters of democracy and decency. They won’t be going down the path in which Israel is now heading.Many American Jews may not be following the Yair Netanyahu cartoon controversy, but those who are realize there’s something fatally flawed in a country in which the prime minister’s son posts cartoons that David Duke admires, and hardly anyone on the right speaks out in protest. They understand that the cartoon is not an isolated incident but a direct extension of his father’s attitudes and policies, which buttress nationalistic leaders and incite against leftists and liberals like themselves. If it weren’t Netanyahu, American Jews would describe many of his attacks as anti-Semitic in and of themselves. American Jewish leaders would organize protests. They would write their Congress members to protest.An Israeli leader and his son adopting the anti-liberal, anti-globalist and anti-Jewish worldview of right-wing nationalists is one more symptom of an Israel that has become, in some respects, a darkness unto the nations. American Jews, some of whom have devoted their lives to the wellbeing of the Jewish state, will look at you with sad eyes and shrug. So it’s come to this, they say.*(5) Now Israel has its own version of the ‘alt-right’*http://www.jta.org/2017/09/11/news-opinion/politics/now-israel-has-its-own-version-of-the-alt-rightBy Andrew TobinSeptember 11, 2017 5:11pmJERUSALEM (JTA) – For many Jews, Nazis are public enemy No. 1, and using Nazi imagery to make a political point is strictly verboten.But some young, right-wing Israelis aren’t buying it.Inspired by the so-called alt-right abroad, their online community makes liberal *use *of *anti-Semitic and Nazi imagery to mock and malign* what it sees as the real threat: Israeli and *Jewish lefti*sts.“We’re fighting back in a new way,” said Guy Levy, 40, the manager of an advertising office in Beersheba and a member of the community. “Our messages aren’t politically correct, but that’s what makes them funny, and stinging.”Many Israelis heard about this community for the first time Saturday when Yair Netanyahu, the prime minister’s son, credited its main Facebook page as the source of an anti-Semitic themed cartoon he shared. The page, called Tight Memes Against Kakihomoshit Leftists, has since been heavily referenced in the local media. The publicity significantly expanded it following.Netanyahu posted the cartoon Friday with the caption “food chain.” It pairs the Jewish billionaire and philanthropist George Soros — who the alt-right regularly portrays as a leftist “puppet master” — with at least two other figures associated with the far right and conspiracy theorists, a robed “Illuminati” figure and a lizard creature. All three in turn are seen as manipulating former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and other prominent critics of Benjamin Netanyahu.Jewish leaders in Israel and the United States rushed to rap Netanyahu over the post. “The cartoon that Yair Netanyahu posted contains blatantly anti-Semitic elements,” the Anti-Defamation League’s Israel office tweeted Sunday in Hebrew. “The dangers inherent in anti-Semitic discourse should not be taken lightly.”Meanwhile, leading white supremacists, including former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard David Duke and those behind the U.S. neo-Nazi website The Daily Stormer, purported to embrace Netanyahu as one of their own.“Welcome to the club, Yair – absolutely amazing, wow, just wow,” Duke tweeted Sunday, along with media reports about Netanyahu’s post.The cartoon Yair Netanyahu uploaded to Facebook, Sept. 9, 2017. (Facebook)However, members of the community centered around the Tight Memes Facebook page responded very differently.Dan Gefen, 36, a libertarian economist and longtime member of the community, said the cartoon is meant as a criticism of anti-Zionist meddling in Israeli democracy, including by Jews like Soros, who has funded left-leaning Jewish groups like J Street and civil rights groups in Israel. The anti-Semitic themes are simply a sendup of political correctness, he said.“If you’re in the culture, you don’t see it as anti-Semitic,” he said. “The general idea is every small thing a right-winger does, they’re calling you a Nazi or a fascist. So it’s making fun of that. It’s a lie that tells the truth.“The [left-wing] reaction is very important,” he added. “Without the reaction, the joke doesn’t work.”In recent days, the Tight Memes Facebook page has filled with posts mocking the media’s reaction to the cartoon as humorless and hypocritical. Many have highlighted past examples of Israelis comparing using Nazi imagery to condemn trends on the right, sometimes to the delight of Duke and other white supremacists.Asked for comment in a Facebook message, an administrator of the group replied, “We don’t cooperate with journalists. Especially not the fake news.”Yair Netanyahu, who took down the cartoon Sunday evening but did not apologize, has shared several of the posts along with his own comments, including on one, “The left is so sensitive that it’s something.”Gefen said the Tight Memes community borrows “culturally and even ideologically sometimes” from the alt-right. Like that group, it is loosely organized online, nationalistic and delights in defying social norms it feels are imposed by left-wing elites. But unlike some in the alt-right, he said, his community is not anti-Semitic, for obvious reasons, or racist.While it operates on a variety of Facebook pages that come and go, Gefen said, the Tight Memes page is the community’s central meeting place. The page’s cover photo features both Pepe the Frog, a cartoon figure that the ADL deemed a hate symbol after it was co-opted by the alt-right, and Benjamin Netanyahu wearing sunglasses. The profile picture is a rendering of Netanyahu drinking from a jug labeled “the tears of leftists.”Some 3,000 people followed Tight Memes prior to Netanyahu’s post, and that number has now reached well over 4,000.Most of the posts are relatively standard right-wing political attacks on Netanyahu’s critics delivered with troll-like memes, many adapted from content popularized on 4chan, an alt-right gathering place. Pepe makes frequent appearances, sometimes in Nazi uniform. Other times he appears as a Likud member or religious Zionist.Alt-right pejoratives like “cuck” are mixed with Hebrew neologisms, like “kakihomoshit,” the nonsensical curse word used in the full title of the Tight Memes page. “Kaki” is Hebrew slang for feces, while “homoshit” is a combination of two well-known English slurs.Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, left, with his son Yair in Jerusalem, March 18, 2015. (Thomas Coex/AFP/Getty Images)Levy, the advertising office manager, who also runs a blog fact-checking the Israeli media, discovered Tight Memes about a month ago. He and said he was tired of seeing leftists bully Israel’s right wing, including the Netanyahu family.“‘We’re fascists, we’re racists, we hate peace.’ These are the ways they’re trying to brand us. So we embrace it,” he said. “It’s even worse I’m sure for Yair. His family is being persecuted. I don’t know if he’s reacting in the best way, but this is the reaction.”The Netanyahus face a raft of investigations. The prime minister has been questioned in a pair of fraud investigations relating to alleged illicit ties to executives in media, international business and Hollywood. His associates are being probed relating to a possible conflict of interest involving the $2 billion purchase of German submarines.Israeli Attorney General Avichai Mandelbilt announced Friday that he intends to indict the prime minister’s wife, Sara, for fraud over her alleged use of public funds for household expenses.Yair Netanyahu posted the cartoon — which included likenesses of a former housekeeper at the heart of the case against his mother and another man leading weekly protests demanding indictments of his family — hours after Mandelbilt’s announcement. It was not the first time Yair has lashed out at leftists on Facebook in recent weeks.Last month, following U.S. President Donald Trump’s controversial response to the deadly violence at a far-right march in Charlottesville, Virginia, Yair Netanyahu suggested that American left-wing groups are more dangerous than neo-Nazis. Days earlier he questioned a left-wing NGO’s sources of funding and the supposedly illicit behavior of the sons of former prime ministers.Benjamin Netanyahu, who reportedly takes social media advice from Yair, has hardly been less restrained, calling the investigations of his family a “witch hunt” by “leftists” and the “fake news.” He has sought to characterize the probes, apparently with some success, as an attack on all right-wing Israelis.“They don’t want to just take me down,” he said in Tel Aviv last month in one of a pair of rallies he has recently held. “They want to take us all down.”Netanyahu has yet to comment on the latest controversy surrounding his son. When reporters asked Netanyahu directly about the issue at the weekly Cabinet meeting Sunday, he replied, “Thank you, but this isn’t a press conference.”That, too, became a meme on Tight Memes. In a video clip, a pair of animated sunglasses and a cigar appear on Netanyahu’s face. The text reads, “I didn’t choose the thug life. It chose me.”*(6) Tufts University activists publish guide calling Israel a ‘white supremacist state’*http://www.jta.org/2017/09/08/news-opinion/united-states/tufts-university-activists-publish-guide-calling-israel-a-white-supremacist-stateBy Yvette Alt MillerSeptember 8, 2017 12:59pmWest Hall at Tufts University (Wikimedia Commons)(JTA) — Tufts University’s Hillel is described as “an organization that supports a white supremacist state” in a student-written guide to activist life at the university.The Tufts University Disorientation Guide offers information on social, spiritual, health and academic resources at the Boston-area university, but singles out Hillel and its support for Israel for opprobrium, calling it a “Zionist space” and accusing it of “exploit(ing) black voices for their own pro-Israel agenda.” The guide has been widely read and shared on social media.Tufts Hillel’s executive director, Rabbi Jeffrey Summit, objected to its one-sided portrayal of Hillel, Israel and Jewish campus life at the private university.“We have been working so hard to create a positive atmosphere on campus, and we have such a positive Israel presence,” Summit said, adding that over 100 Tufts students visit Israel each year.The accusation that Tufts Hillel exploits “black voices” stems from three years ago when Hillel brought to campus the parents of Trayvon Martin, the black teenager who was shot in 2012 by a neighborhood watch volunteer in Sanford, Florida, to speak about gun violence.According to the guide, “Students were outraged that Hillel, an organization that promotes a white supremacist state, were bringing Trayvon’s parents to exploit black voices for their own pro-Israel agenda.”Like other campus Hillels, the Tufts center offers a range of social, cultural, educational and religious events in addition and often unrelated to pro-Israel activity.The disorientation guide was created by and for leftist student groups on campus, and suggests resources for students of color, low-income students, the LGBT community and women. The only mentions of Jewish groups or activities, including Hillel, appear in a section for “Israel Apartheid Week,” a pro-Palestinian event, and in a description of the Pan African Alliance’s 2015 protest of the Trayvon Martin event.Such guides have been created on other campuses as an alternative to the official student guides distributed by the university administration. The most recent disorientation guide at Columbia University criticized its administration for “supporting the oppression of Palestinians both through its investments and by suppressing anti-Israel speech by students and faculty.” The 2016 version at New York University asserts that students visiting Israel on a Birthright trip are “complicit in the occupation, destruction, and colonization of Palestine.”The Tufts version does not receive university funding, according to Tufts’ executive director of public relations, Patrick Collins, and is not part of the university’s official orientation program.The disorientation guide “was posted without authorization by students on two official Class Facebook pages and prompted a number of student complaints,” Collins told JTA in an email. “Although we respect students’ rights to free speech and expression, we also reserve the right to determine what may or may not be appropriate to share through the university’s official communications platforms. The university removed the guide shortly after being made aware of its posting because the guide is unauthorized and because multiple portions of the guide run counter to our community’s shared values and standards and to Orientation’s mission.”A small group of friends created the Tufts guide after a 2016 edition fell through. They used the 2015 edition as a template.Emmett Pinsky, a junior majoring in American studies with a minor in English, was among those who worked on the guide. Pinsky, who is Jewish, said that if people feel shocked by the guide’s strong language, it is doing its job.“The use of strong language is meant to be jarring,” Pinsky (who eschews gender-specific pronouns) told JTA. “The disorientation guide is meant to be jarring, and is meant to make you stop and think.”Pinsky’s knowledge of Hillel is limited, the junior said, and stems from attending services a few times in his freshman year. Pinsky has not visited Israel. But the authors stand by the guide, Pinsky said, noting that Tufts Hillel is broadly pro-Israel.“Israel is certainly implicated in systems of white supremacy,” Pinsky said. “The fact that many white Jewish people feel favorably toward the Jewish state and the occupation of Palestine comes from a desire to preserve whiteness in the way it is unfolding in Israel and Palestine.”If people feel alarm at Tufts Hillel being implicated in white supremacy, Pinsky said, “I think that feeling of alarm is worth exploring to see if that has a deeper root.”The charge that Zionism is tantamount or similar to white supremacy has become increasingly popular on the anti-Zionist left.Naomi Dann of the pro-BDS group Jewish Voice for Peace argued in the Forward recently that Zionists and white supremacists share “anxiety about demographics and racist and Islamophobic fear of ‘Arabs.'”The Anti-Defamation League responded to Dann’s piece by asserting that Zionism “is based on providing for equal opportunity for the Jewish people, like others, to have sovereignty in their land while still fully protecting the rights of minorities who live within Israel. At its core, Zionism is a positive movement and is not intended to be ‘against’ anyone.”For some students, the Tufts University Disorientation Guide has made their campus seem a colder, less welcoming place.Sabrina Miller, a Jewish sophomore majoring in computer engineering, said the guide “gave a lot of support to other groups” and that made its negativity about Hillel more painful.“For freshmen who are Jewish, who support Israel, I think it will make them feel unwelcome or uneasy” at Tufts, she said. “I know it definitely made me feel uneasy” on campus.Sophie Saunders, also a Jewish sophomore majoring in computer engineering, the guide brought back memories of a bitter dispute five months ago when the Tufts student senate voted to divest from Israel. Saunders, who describes herself as a Zionist, attended the debate and was reduced to tears.Jewish and pro-Israel students were upset that the vote was brought up unexpectedly before the senate by Students for Justice in Palestine just days before Passover.Jews make up nearly 25 percent of the university’s undergraduate enrollment of 5,290, according to the Forward’s recent college guide. In addition to Hillel, Jewish and Israel-oriented groups include the Tufts American Israel Alliance, Tufts Friends of Israel, J Street U, Jewish Voice for Peace, TAMID and IAC Mishelanu.Noting that after the disorientation guide she feels “less welcome” at Tufts, Saunders said she has a plan: “I would like to say I’d like to get more involved” in pro-Israel activities at the university as a way to fight back.*(7) Breitbart speaker at UC on “Campus Thuggery”; security barriers and tickets to keep Antifa out*He's Jewish, but still they have to go to all this trouble - Peter M.https://www.jweekly.com/2017/09/11/uc-berkeley-gearing-ben-shapiro-appearance-security-counseling/UC Berkeley gearing up for Ben Shapiro appearance with security and counselingBY JTA | SEPTEMBER 11, 2017UC Berkeley is gearing up for a visit by conservative political commentator Ben Shapiro by tightening campus security and offering counseling services for students.Shapiro, a former Breitbart News editor, who currently works as a political commentator, author, radio talk show host and lawyer is scheduled to speak on the UC Berkeley campus on Sept. 14 o*n the topic “Campus Thuggery.”* The event is hosted by the Berkeley College Republicans and the Young Americas Foundation.Several university buildings surrounding Zellerbach Hall, where Shapiro’s appearance is to be held, will be closed off the afternoon of the speech and those arriving to attend the speech will have to go through *security barriers and show their tickets *for the event, according to a statement posted on the university’s website by Executive Vice Chancellor and Provost Paul Alivisatos.There also will be an “increased and highly visible police presence,” according to the statement.If events escalate around you, please strongly consider leaving.“Some may wish to attend the event and hear the speaker to form their own views. Others may wish to stay away. Some may wish to protest. All activities can be done peacefully and with respect. If you choose to protest, please seek ways to protest peacefully and safely while observing rules related to the student code of conduct and our Principles of Community. If events escalate around you, please strongly consider leaving,” the provost’s statement said.The university also announced that it would provide support and counseling services for students, staff and faculty, saying: “We are deeply concerned about the impact some speakers may have on individuals’ sense of safety and belonging. No one should be made to feel threatened or harassed simply because of who they are or for what they believe.”Shapiro, who is a practicing Orthodox Jew, mocked the university’s offer of counseling in a tweet which read: “This Shabbat I told my three-year-old she couldn’t have more candy. She immediately registered for counseling at Berkeley.”The university said the success or failure of the arrangements for Shapiro’s visit will inform how it handles future appearances by controversial speakers. “Alt-right” British political commentator and media personality Milo Yiannopolous also is scheduled to appear at UC Berkeley this school year. An appearance by Yiannopolous that was scheduled last year was cancelled after a protest of the speech turned violent.*(8) Goy Round-Up - The Forward*http://forward.com/schmooze/377588/the-goy-round-up-china-bans-justin-bieber-and-more/The *Goy Round-Up*: China Bans Justin Bieber And More!July 21, 2017 By Becky Scott and Jenny SingerWelcome to The *Goy Round-Up*, The Schmooze’s new weekly column in which we briefly touch on the most important and exciting non-Jewish celebrity news.What’s going on in the goy world of fame and fortune? We’ve compiled the most important news so you’ll never have to buy a copy of The National Enquirer again!China Bans Justin Bieber AND Winnie The PoohChina is clearly determined to strip its youths of a childhood by banning everything children love, starting with lovable bear Winnie the Pooh and mischievous wood nymph Justin Bieber. China’s explanation for banning the Biebs is that he’s been a bad, bad boy and they’re attempting to “purify” the arts, whatever that means. Of course, it seems like too much of a coincidence that the move to ban Bieber would take place mere months after he forgot the Spanish lyrics to “Despacito” during a performance, ruining the sexual reverie of every woman in the crowd. China’s excuse for banning Winnie the Pooh is a bit more straightforward: the honey-addicted mammal looks a bit too much like President Xi Jinping for anybody’s comfort.Taylor Swift May Be Being Carried Around In A Large Box“World’s Biggest Star Being Smuggled In And Out Of Her Apartment In A Suitcase” is the kind of headline pop-culture writers dream about. Taylor Swift, up there in terms of ruthless power-wielding with Vladimir Putin and The Internet, is now encased (LOL YOU’RE WELCOME) in a rumor started by Splash News claiming that she is being carried around by security guards in a giant suitcase. Is this the beginning of a Princess Diana-style tragic reflection of our culpability in destroying celebrities? Is it the first act of an extended magic trick/performance piece? Is it possible that this is an illusion/collusion/delusion/etc to distract us from the fact that Taylor Swift has put all of US in a giant black box and that WE are currently being carried around by her hench-people? This ain’t about the Jews but it is really, really important news.Beyonce Posed With Her Twins In A GardenTechnically, this story broke last week but time does not control Beyonce. Rather, she exists in a universe without restrictions like gravity, space, climate change, or landfills. And after giving birth to not one but two future millionaires who will hopefully inherit their parents’ generous spirit, it was only a matter of time before she released a photograph that would accurately depict the life both babies can expect to live. No word on WHEN this photograph was taken but would any of us be surprised if it was taken directly after the second infant made its way into the world?O.J. Simpson Has Been Granted ParoleThe man responsible for the book that singlehandedly ruined the legal system for me, “If I Did It: Confessions Of A Killer”, is once again free to run wild through the streets of America. Simpson was granted parole on Thursday after nine years I’m SURE he spent thinking seriously about what he’d done and mapping out a vision board for what he can do to improve as a person in the future.Mindy Kaling Is Apparently PregnantAn extremely beautiful and pure of heart young women is unexpectedly pregnant despite not being in a relationship—I went to Hebrew school but I am pretty sure this is the plot of a really famous book and TBH I can’t wait to see it made into a critically acclaimed HBO mini series. Deeply beloved comedian and feminist hero Mindy Kaling is reportedly (!) unexpectedly (!) pregnant (!) with a baby whose father’s identity she allegedly is revealing to no one (!) And while we very much respect Kaling’s privacy we feel moved to say that Kaling’s situation is a beacon to women everywhere—particularly women of color—who want to have children alone without being shamed. Thank (every-single-religion’s) god for Mindy—we will move this story out of the “Goy Roundup” the moment we receive intel that the man/sperm donor/divine form who contributed genetic material to her future baby is in any way Jewish.Becky Scott is the editor of The Schmooze. Follow her on Twitter, @arr_scott-- Peter Myerswebsite:http://mailstar.net/index.html