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The Hateful Glare in Me Mudder's Eyes, by Ray Zwarich

To all the Really Good Ones, and ton all in peril on land or sea:

As promised yesterday, (or threatened, depending on how folks look at it I s'pose ...LOL), this is 'chapter 2', of a 3 part essay.

These are difficult issues to face. We surely can all see that something has gone WAYY wrong between our nation's women, and our men. We must become self-aware. We must 'see' the truth of ourselves as we are, not as we pretend to be.

Right now, each side thinks the OTHER is the side that must 'see' its own faults. What NEITHER side can 'see', however, is that they are BOTH right.


From Hefner to Steinem - Don and Betty and Peggy

I always tried to impart a sense of History to my children. Things have happened so fast, it can be difficult to 'see' events in our lives from more useful perspectives. 

I'm 72 years old. Born in '48. I've personally been alive to witness almost 1/3rd of our nation's entire history, (since the Constitution was ratified in 1789).

My own grandparents were children playing in schoolyards when those Pinkerton agents were chasing Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid across the American West on horseback. They were in grade school when Geronimo died. My own mother and father were children when Wyatt Earp died, only 19 years before I was born. I'm proud to say that I was alive and drew breath at the same time as Gandhi, (though only for a few months).   

Any which-way we can find to 'gain perspective' will be invaluable to us. We have to strive to 'see' the biggest picture that we can. We must do everything we can to escape the deadly confines of our own subjectivity. We must strive to become Self-Aware.

In the early 20th century, (1910 and after), anyone living in a town of 2500 or more was classified as 'urban' in official census data. In 1920, half our population was, for the first time, therefore, classified as 'urban', but in truth, even in 1930, it's estimated that 75% of our people lived either on farms or in farm-based communities, (small towns). 

When my parents were born, we were a rural nation. Almost 1/3 of our entire population did not have electricity in 1930. Today only about 18% of our population lives outside of very densely populated urban environments. (I'm a terrible researcher, but these facts are the result of about 30 minutes worth).

How and why did this happen? How many of us know? How many have ever even thought to wonder? Has this been 'good' for us? (Well ... Like most everything else under the sun, it's no doubt been 'good' in some ways, and 'bad' in others). What effects has it had on our lives? Our culture? Our society? Our happiness? How can we better adapt our culture and society to these conditions? 

If we lived in a lake, in still waters, our lives would be simpler, eh? But we live on the 'Big Watah', (that's what my Dji-Dji called it, he barely spoke English). We live on the wild and stormy sea, where currents can run strong, the winds can blow like roaring freight trains, or glassy doldrums can be deadly.

The better we can 'see' the currents that sweep us this way and that, the better we can navigate over and through them, (or around, if necessary). 

Don Draper (the assumption is that folks recognize these characters from the TV drama series 'Mad Men') was a farm boy. But he became the very epitome of the pornified Playboy culture that steadily began to dominate a newly urbanized nation. Immaculately tailored and groomed. Short brimmed fedora pulled rakishly low, so he could see out when he chose, or hide his own gaze when it suited him. Playboy in his briefcase. Draper, Don Draper. Shaken. Not stirred. Bring the XKE around, please. I'm taking this lovely lady for a ride. 

He was handsome. He was rich. He had power. When he "saw the girls pass by in their summer clothes", he knew most any of them could be his. (Married or not). 

Betty was his wife. Glamorous blonde. "Classy Dame" ... as Frank the Skinny Guinea woulda' called her. She was a 'good girl'. Sure, like any girl, she had had her share of sweaty back or front seat experience. When she was lavaliered in college, things did get VERY steamy, but technically she was a virgin when she married Don.

Sha had almost swooned when she first laid eyes on him, but she looked at him with that slight wrinkle of disdain on the bare corner of her nose. Her mother had taught her that old female wile, as she had learned from her mother. There IS such a thing, ladies, as ancient female wisdom. Even thousands of years ago, societies built temples to it. 

Draper took the bait. Beauty. Intelligence. Mystery. And best of all. Disdain. A challenge. 

And by the benefit of that ancient female wisdom, young Betty took a walk down the aisle, to a beaming Don waiting for her. Every girl's dream.

When she realized that her marriage to Don was over, the first thing she did was go to a random bar and fuck the first man in a suit she laid eyes on, up against the men's room wall.

Peggy was "one of those girls". Her Brooklyn brownstone working class mother fretted over her girl moving across the river. "Oh, I'm so worried you'll become 'one of those girls' ", she said to Peggy while wringing her hands. "I AM 'one of those girls', Mom", Peggy answered defiantly.

When she got her first job as a beginner trainee secretary at Draper's ad agency, she fucked a guy from work on practically her first day. (Caliban is assuming all are adults here, and I'm purposely using such language to not dress up this kind of behavior with euphemisms). It was almost like she had to 'get it out of the way', to just 'jump in the deep end' right away and get it over with. He was married. She knew that. It was a one night stand.

Luckily for her, Peggy was not anything like Draper's 'type'. And then, when he saw the talent she had, when he saw that she had an instinctive understanding of the psychology of advertising, he regarded her paternally, as a daughter, not a sex object. 

Don loved Betty dearly. He had deep genuine feelings for her. He loved his children the same. Could a man like him help it if he was so busy out chasin' 'cooz' that he spent very little time with his family? 

Did you know that if you somehow charted all sexual activity, you would find that 40% of all hetero sex acts engaged in by women are with only 20% of the men? Dog breeders call this 'the popular sire syndrome'. It's a Darwinian thing. This is how humans behave. 

And a large percentage of men, (40%?, something like that), are 'involuntary celibates'. They can't get laid. 

Well ... Any man with a bit 'a red blood in him can imagine that the craziest most violent people tend to come from that group of poor lads. Can you imagine living in our sex-soaked culture, where any which way you turn to look some girl is sticking her boobs or booty at ya, and not being able to get any? Forced to look, as if eyes were actually pinned open, but they can NEVER touch.

So ... The girls are all competing for 20% of the boys. When they begin to feel the full bloom start to wilt from their flowers, they're generally wise enough to settle for the best they can get. (C'mon, ladies, only foolish men believe that every wife is a pure loving angel).

Men like Draper could have ANY of them, and he knew it. But his standards were VERY high, (in terms of raw female beauty, combined with intelligence and wit).

My father was Don Draper. Not an ad man, but rather a hot-shot airline pilot, Slavic hunk handsome, slicked back hair. He was a body-builder. He could have been on a magazine cover. You think that old boy didn't have a couple girls or so in every port? 

My mom was a spirited girl. Aye, I see that same glowering hateful look in Betty Draper's eyes. Who can guess what she did to get even? She sat me down to talk about 'The Feminine Mystique' when I was barely 16. Seems all those girls my mother's age, from Betty Draper in the Hudson Valley, to Mary Lynn in Kansas, and way WAY beyond, all those women all over the nation were waking up to what complete suckers they were being taken for. 

Their own mothers would have been eagerly friendly with the 'girl next door'. She'd teach her recipes, and have no worries about such a nice girl around her husband. 

Now their husbands were leaving a magazine casually lying around showing the Girl Next Door lifting her dress and showing off her young swelling bare boobies, and her little pepe to all the nation's husbands.

And girls like Peggy didn't know whether to be disappointed or comforted when they realized that men like Draper were WAY on out of their league. Ahhh ... But she's a cutie. Plenty young hound dogs come 'round sniffin' her perfume. But not men like Draper. He had deep GENUINE feelings for her, as a father to a daughter. 

Quite a quandary for a single girl, especially for "one of those girls". We all know how disappointed a boy is when the pretty girl treats him like a friend, or worse, a kid brother.

First came Playboy. The pornification of the nation would steadily grow from there. 

Today, girls who consider themselves to be 'nice girls', (girls that think that a nice boy should be interested in them), are walking around dressed like prostitutes, (advertsing their feminine charms aggressively, shall we say), as they crybaby and complain about being treated like sex objects by men. 

Uhhh .... Uhhh .....Geez ... How exactly DOES one 'explain' that the sky is blue?

Once we had a culture in which there was a solid sisterhood among women. A secret bond. (Betty Draper taught her daughter that if she ever was alone and needed help she could just ask ANY woman). They all hated any 'hussy', because she was a threat to their own security. Some girl start giving flirty looks the wrong direction? The other girls will be on her with bared claws, and fangs if need be. 

Well ... Wouldn't ya know. That established a 'seller's market'. Only the girls have what the poor boys want. They can sell it cheap. Or they can set a much higher price on themselves! Didn't that Clara Varner tell slick Ben Quick what fer? 

I wish I could edit this clip. At about the 2:00 mark, Joanne Woodward gives a speech that surely could inspire many a young girl to know the intrinsic value, like a gift from Nature or God, of just being a woman, (career or not). (Methinks this wasn't even acting for Ms. Woodward. In real life, she 'bagged the hunk', presumably with this same 'line'. The girl was pretty enough, but she wasn't even in the same league, in the fleshy female charms department, as other women throwing themselves at Paul Newman. But the girl who "placed a high high price on herself", was the girl who made the sale. They were married the rest of their long lives. 

First came 'Playboy'. Hmm.... How did Hugh Hefner, who would become America's most celebrated pimp, how did this 'nobody' 26 year old married suburban father, with almost no money, licking address labels in his garage to get the first issue out, (a bit of hyperbole but substantially true), get his hands on nude photos of the BIGGEST (bar none) sex symbol movie star in the WORLD, (just to make sure that men would 'read the articles' in that FIRST issue).

It was 1953. I was in kindergarten, in Kansas.The nation was shocked. People thought surely Ms. Monroe would sue Playboy. The pictures were taken just shortly before her star suddenly blazed. Hefner claims he got them from a buddy of his, for a couple hundred bucks or so. What? Was his buddy a complete idiot? Or maybe ... ya think? ... did Playboy always have a silent partner?

People thought the sheer disgrace would end Marilyn Monroe's career.  Well ... But then Ms. Monroe's career was enhanced. And "sex sells so sell sex" became every Snake Oil Salesman's (like Draper's) credo. (And people were just buying their first black and white round screened TVs.

Well ... C'mon, good folks ... Put away yer checkers sets. Play this game we're IN ... If you wanted to use the power of Mass Media to 'engineer' a compliant society, how would you go about that?

Well ... We'll likely never know such things. Maybe Hugh was just a lucky guy with a stupid buddy he didn't mind taking advantage of. (Like buying a ring from your friend for $75 when you know it's worth $10,000).

First came Playboy. Friedan followed only 10 years behind, in '63. That's how long it took Betty and my mother to get it figured out. Women's Liberation was demanded by the late 60s.

And the CIA had an operative named Gloria Steinem already working for them at that time. After she became famous, Ms. Steinem was quoted, (there's actually a recording), as saying, "In my experience, ther CIA is a liberal and open minded organization". And she published a 'slick glossy' monthly for three years before 'Ms.' ever accepted its first advertising dollar. 

And what was Ms. Steinem's message for the nation's young women? PROMISCUITY! Ditch modesty and 'class', girls. All those Betty Drapers were suckers. Fuck as many men as you want. It's fun. If it feels good, DO IT!

OK. Maybe those folks that were in the process of building a powerful Empire weren't really that smart. Maybe it all happened that way just by accident. But it sure would have been easy to do had they wanted to.

I guess we're lucky old Caliban wasn't one of them, eh?. "All operatives gather 'round. Listen up! Here's our plan". (I think it was Allen Dulles, same fella that probably killed Jack and Bobby, that got this rolling, only shortly after young Georgie-boy Orwell was publishing '1984').  

We're going to control these dirty stupid people by weakening their moral foundation, as a polity. As always, we will seek to divide them along any tribal divisions we can.

But we think we can go even further, with the benefit of new technology. There will soon be a TV in every home. We will be able to use modern Mass Media to 'engineer' a compliant society. We think we can go beyond mere tribal divisions. We think we can play up the age old 'battle of the sexes' to the point that we can get women to hate not merely men, but manhood itself, not merely their fathers, but fatherhood itself.

We think we can use young women's intense desires to 'be sexy' to lure them into lewd behavior. We'll pay 18, 19 year old girls to take off all their clothes and let the entire nation see them naked, and we will convince the nation, and the girls, that this is wholesome behavior. We will create a cultural icon we're going to call the Girl Next Door. Young girls in full bloom should be proud to parade themselves around naked in public. 

This will, of course, INCENSE married women, who will just naturally resent their men chasing around after all those naked girls next door. And then the girls next door will start complaining and crying that "men won't commit", but they won't listen to their grandmothers 'a tryin' t' tell 'em, "he ain't gonna buy the cow, dearie, if he's 'a gettin' all the milk he wants fer free".

So ... We'll have 'em ALL by the short hairs then. Women will start shrieking like harpies that men are pigs. All they want is our SEX, the silly girls will say, as they're still walking around with neon flashing from every fleshy feminine charm. 

And they'll be so crazy mixed up about it ALL that they won't even KNOW how idiotic they look and sound, to be so generous with the cleavage, then lean forward as the neckline falls open toward the candle on the table, and DEMAND that grown men should be nice 'boys on a leash' and NOT LOOK. (You better keep your eyes 'up', on hers, boys, if ya want t' get in her britches later tonight).

Well ... Anyway ... That woulda' been the plan I would have pitched to Director Dulles had I been a young operative in the early 50s ... Yea ... they probably would have laughed at it, and never have really done it.

One thing for DANG sure, though, if they ever THOUGHT of doing that, it would have been really REALLY easy for them to do. 

One article in one magazine gave the snowball a push over the edge of the hill. 24/7 media coverage, and before a ten count the whole nation was consumed by the full blown #metoo Mass Mob Hysteria, as every female screamed like the Banshee Herself for the dripping head of any boy who ever copped a feel.

They DEMANDED that we ALL pretend that women are all innocent lovely angels of pure virtue. 

Yea ... Well ... Having known a few women over these years, I think that for every teary eyed starlet who was "SHOCKED, Absolutely SHOCKED" when confronted with the casting couch, there were 20 conniving females trying eagerly to fuck the right power brokers so they could be movie stars. There would not BE a casting couch if women did not lay themselves down on it in exchange for favors, in exchange for value to them. It's not for nothing they call it the "oldest profession".

How did we get this screwed up? How did our nation's women come to hate not just men, but manhood itself? Not just their fathers, but fatherhood itself?

Well ... I remember when my father started leaving his Playboy on the side table in the hall. 

And I remember Betty Draper's hateful glare in me mudder's eyes.